Bittersweet Happenings

The reason I’m finally blogging today is because my English class got cancelled. As I read a message informing us of this unexpected occurrence, a warm glow of happiness started spreading through my veins, until it stopped midway and my body froze instead.

My teacher, a sweet woman indeed, is ill and in the hospital.

It is at times like these that I despair. My social awkwardness kicks in. I put on earphones and lose myself in the world of words.

I cannot help but feel happy. And yet I feel sad. Also, I feel guilty for feeling happy. Such a whirlwind of feelings leaves me reeling from the proverbial blow.

It happens a lot.

A friend I don’t like much is shifted to another school. I don’t like her, but she was a friend. Now she’s gone. What should I feel?

An item I have had for ages, that I’ve grown tired of, breaks. It was old, it had memories. But I wasn’t a big fan of it. Now it’s gone. What should I feel?

And, the ultimate, a person I hate is dead.  Seeing his family’s grief is sad but … I hated him. Now he’s gone. What should I feel?

That is why today I am going to suppress my happiness and feel sad, as I should be feeling. But the guilt will remain. And to ease it I will pray sincerely for a women who deserves to be hale and healthy.

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5 thoughts on “Bittersweet Happenings

  1. alienorajt says:

    Ah! Found you again, Raiha. Lost all the people I was following in early December – and have been trying to find them ever since. Happy birthday for Friday. Ali xxx

    • I was wondering where you were Ali! It’s great to hear from you again.

      Thank you so much for remembering. You’re the first person to wish me a happy birthday this year!

      Also, a very happy birthday to you Ali, for tomorrow! Lots of love from Pakistan -x

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