The Blessing of Knowing Who You Are

In response to the Daily Prompt

As I look at the daily prompt of 2 days ago, I realize how much I want to write on this topic.

One thing I love about mirrors is that one never has to pretend in front of them. They cannot judge you. You see what you want to see in them. I believe that what the mirror shows me is pretty much who I am.

I have, I had always thought, an identity crisis. I pretended to be someone else, when in reality I was a completely different person. But who doesn’t pretend? In front of others we are always what we want to be, never who we actually are.

Over the years, I have left these inhibitions behind and have tried to stop pretending. It did not leave behind many friends, or many smiles, but it did leave a happier me.

And so, as were asked to take a self-portrait for our Photography final, I decided to not pretend…

selfie1

A self-portrait that pretty much sums up who I am…

I had decided to only let this picture speak for itself, but I realize that I still want to say a few things.

When I look in the mirror, I see a pretty girl. I have been told I am not pretty or not up to society’s standard of being tall, fair and skinny. But as I look in the mirror, I realize I am not that ugly after all.

Ever since I have added that bit of red to my hair, I feel as if my physical appearance is now in equilibrium with my inner personality. It is fascinating how such a superficial thing like a streak of red dye can completely change how you see yourself.

As I look in the mirror, I see a comparatively tall, slightly overweight teenager with acne scars on her face. She has medium length dark brown hair with a brilliant streak of red going through it. Her eyebrows are thick, her obsidian eyes seem to be teasing and saying “I know things you don’t”. I see her full lips turned up in a clever half-smile. Her chin has a slight cleft in it, a legacy of her father, something she is very proud of. She has straight large teeth, not brilliantly white. She usually has her purple glasses fixed to her nose. She wears  collared shirts and trousers and is very careful of looking as best as possible.

As I look within myself, I see a bossy self-assured woman with an unconventional mind. She loves to eat. She is practical yet she is lazy and loves to procrastinate. She is strong and she does not like to cry. She has a very “I don’t care what you think” attitude. She is proud and egoistic. She gets angry easily and does not like to apologize. Her mind has stored some odd facts and figures about the world that sometimes come in handy. She likes to lead but goes over everything herself at least once. She is very much inspired by her father and longs to be like him in every way. She sometimes ‘forgets’ to brush her teeth (another proof of her laziness). She loves to read. She has a unique sense of style that is sometimes frowned upon by other Pakistani women. She is very self-conscious.

As I re-read what I’ve written, I am happy to see that my outer and inner appearance do coincide.

I am a true mirror image of myself…

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6 thoughts on “The Blessing of Knowing Who You Are

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