Silhouettes And Eyes Wide Shut

The past week, I have had my eyes wide shut. Do you know that feeling you get when your eyes are trying their best to close on you yet you open them up by sheer willpower? Sometimes I felt like putting scotch tape on my lids like in Tom & Jerry, but I couldn’t take the risk of waxing off my eyelashes, so I left that idea alone. It was like I had opened my eyes as wide as I could, but they were still slits with heavy lids. So I shut off my poor laptop, that had also reached its limits and was overheating, and crashed into bed, only to wake up four hours later and start trying to wake up all over again. This routine continued for six exams, five days.

But I guess it was my own fault. If I hadn’t a) bunked classes, b) slept in class, c) doodled in class, d) avoided questioning teachers and e) procrastinated in studying the course material provided in the last two months, I might have not been in this situation. And if I hadn’t been a nerd in the last semester and gotten a 3.9/4.00 GPA then I wouldn’t have been bothered to maintain it!

Thankfully the gruelling week of midterm exams is now over and I can continue writing and getting lost in music.

As soon as I came home today after the last paper I immediately started to, for lack of a better world, assault my laptop’s keyboard in feverish strokes as the words kept flowing. The result was a short story written in two hours in what I have identified as my signature style, with no names, 1st person/differing POVs and lots of emotion, at least I think that’s how it is.

In all my excitement, I emailed the first draft of the short to Alienora, my mentor who doesn’t know she’s my mentor. Just now I have come to know that Ali, my mentor, (who doesn’t know she’s my mentor) is on a hiatus and that has left me confused on whether to post the story here or not. I wanted my mentor (who doesn’t know she’s my mentor) to read it first and tell me whether it ‘has meaning or is complete bull’ as I phrased it in the postscript of the email.

While I was writing this, I was listening (for the 100th time) to the song that was the inspiration behind the story. So, I have decided to share the lyrics with my readers first. Later on I may, or may not, share the story, depending on what my mentor (who doesn’t know she’s my mentor) says!

Silhouettes by Of Monsters and Men (give it a listen, it’s a lovely song!)

It’s hard letting go
I’m finally at peace but it feels wrong
Slow I’m getting up
My hands and feet are weaker than beforeAnd you are folded on the bed where I rest my head
There’s nothing I can see, darkness becomes me

But I’m already there, I’m already there
Wherever there is you, I will be there too

There’s nothing that I’d take back
But it’s hard to say there’s nothing I regret
Cause when I sing, you shout
I breathe out loud
You bleed, we crawl like animals
But when it’s over, I’m still awake

A thousand silhouettes dancing on my chest
No matter where I sleep, you are haunting me

But I’m already there, I’m already there
Wherever there is you, I will be there too
But I’m already there, I’m already there
Wherever there is you, I will be there too

‘Cause I’m already there, I’m already there
Wherever there is you, I will be there too
I’m already there, I’m already there
Wherever there is you, I will be there too

 

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3 thoughts on “Silhouettes And Eyes Wide Shut

  1. lol Bad timing… Ali has been away for a while… Give her a poke, she should be around now… 😀 Look forward to your post once your mentor, who doesn’t know she is your mentor, has had a look over it… xx

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