The Liebster Arrives Again

I have been nominated for the Liebster Award once again by one of my cool new WordPress friends! So, here it goes:

Liebster Award

Here are the rules:

  • Post the award on your blog.
  • Thank the blogger who presented this award and link back to their blog.
  • Write 11 random facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 11 bloggers who you feel deserve this award and who have less than 200 followers.
  • Answer 11 questions posted by the presenter and ask your nominees 11 questions

First, in accordance with the rules, THANK YOU Atherz at Teenage Introvert for thinking of me. You’re turning out to be a very interesting person and cool internet friend!

Here are eleven random facts about myself:

  1. I am a cynic. I’m skeptical about the “love” scene. And I think the world is selfish and superficial.
  2. I argue. A lot. Most of the times I do it because what I’m saying is right, sometimes I do it just because I want to be right!
  3. I chew on my nails. A lot. They are now barely there. Woops?
  4. I’m a stubborn goat Capricorn.
  5. I find it hard to make friends. And keep them…
  6. I have a dirty sense of humor. There are just a couple of people who know that.
  7. A random fact in no way related to the above; my score in high school was a B at 69%.
  8. Here comes the interesting fact: I sleep at least an hour after I go to bed. That hour is spent fantasizing. I’m not ashamed to have a rampant imagination, even at this age.
    I was very young, like ten, when I used to make adventurous or romantic scenarios in my head to help me sleep. Some of these have stayed with me for more than a decade, with the plot becoming thicker and characters becoming older. Mostly these stories star me, other times there are other heroines. The protagonist is never male.
    I have a few recurring characters in my stories. They are: Leah who takes my place in fantasy or period stories. David who’s either mine or Leah’s love interest. David gets the name “Zed” in some of the episodes. He is an ‘alpha-male’. Adam is usually a supporting character, interchangeable with ‘Zain’, and almost always David’s brother or close friend. Adam is mellower than David but I never like-like him.
    My father and sisters weave in and out through the story, though they’re never there in person. I am always a powerful career woman, but I’m almost never in my own country. I’m still lonely and have no female friends to speak of. Oh and, all of us are usually involved in some sinister plot.
    Even my dream-world is depressing!
  9. I have tried to put the above adventures into writing many times. I never succeed. Hence, some of my unfinished works are:
    The Love of a Father – A Vampyr Story. It’s about a girl whose father is an extremely powerful Vampyr (with a Y because it sounds cooler), but she has never seen/met him.
    From Stockholm to Lima. A girl gets kidnapped. Her kind-of-mean captor falls in love with her (Stockholm Syndrome) but she’s a bull-headed girl (like me) and fights every step of the way. They go on heists etc together. He’s mean to her a lot. But ultimately, just as the good-bad guy has given up, the girls falls in love with her captor too (Lima Syndrome).
    Leather, Spikes and Everything Nice. About a girl you just have to read about. You can read the first text here (CAUTION: contains swear words).
    Riley Growing Up. My life, though set in America.
  10. I always cut my hair. And put bright colors in it. I tell everyone it’s because I find it hard to take care of longer hair or that I’m tired of long hair since all my sisters and mom have/had it. But it’s actually an act of rebellion against my mom.
  11. I’m clumsy. I am also half-blind without my glasses. I need a lot of light to see properly. It always seems as if it’s dark, even when the lights are on. Maybe I should get that checked?

Okay, enough of crazy ol’ me…

Here are the nominations:

I unfortunately don’t have 11 nominees because I’m lazy like that. I also cannot nominate some people because they have more than 200 followers (looks towards the Indo-Pak border).

Okay I just went through all the blogs I follow and none qualify except these two gems:

KassaFrass | The life of an independent, opinionated, animal-loving, tree-hugging, 20-something

Her short posts are thought-provoking and relatable. I enjoy reading the little snippets and often find myself doing further research on what she shares…

Khadija Akhtar – Amateur and Immature

Khadija’s stories are interesting. It seems as if she’s finding herself and has taken her readers along for the journey. Her poetry is also pretty cool.

Here are my replies to Atherz’s 11 questions:

  1. What’s your personality?
    INFP. We’ve gone over this 😀 I am a real, true introvert, but I take part in debates and give speeches. Which makes me think maybe I’m not that much of an introvert. I take leadership roles. I think a lot. I have a fiery temper. I’m weird. I argue. I boast. I find it hard to show my emotions. I’m usually the teacher’s pet. I could go on and on…
  2. When’s your birthday?
    10 AM, Tuesday, The Tenth of January Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-five.
  3. If you ever had a favorite shape, what would it be, and why?
    I like circles. No beginning, no end. Confusion all a-round, pun intended. My kind of shape!
  4. Favorite… plant?
    Erm. I don’t really know anything about plants. Um, trees? Yeah, I like trees!
  5. If you could change the color of the sky, what would you change it to? Would it be just during the day, or night as well?
    Lilac during the day and a rich, deep, velvety purple during the night.
  6. Favorite genre of music you enjoy?
    ROCK. I used to like Metal, then I moved to Hard-rock and now I’m into Alt. Rock. Basically, I’m mellowing out. But there’re still a few Metallica tracks I can’t live without!
  7. Are you active? (Like, athletic?)
    HAHAHA NO! I used to play basketball in middle-school. Now, my sport is Potato and my arena is Couch, yo!
  8. What are you doing at the moment?
    Blogging. And yelling stuff downstairs because they want me to come for dinner and I just can’t be bothered… Also, I’m eating Pringles.
  9. How’s the weather outside?
    Autumn-y. Not that I’ve been outside since yesterday…
  10. How many blogs do you manage?
    Barely one. It’s very hard for me to finish stuff that I’ve started. This blog is hanging by a thread; it’s my neglected baby. Man, I’m a bad mother…
  11. How do you feel about this nomination?
    I feel really proud. And loved. And included. And sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and chocolate and Liam Neeson and cupcakes and ice-cream and pizza and Jesse Spencer and Jensen Ackles and getting all As and BROWNIES AND CAKE AND CRISPS AND LASAGNA. I. FEEL. GOOD! Woohoo…

And now for the questions the nominees have to answer:

  1. What’s your favorite book?
  2. Who’s your celebrity crush?
  3. Are you religious?
  4. Science or Art?
  5. What’s your favorite band?
  6. If you were given a million dollars out of the blue, what would you do with the money?
  7. A coworker you don’t like at all asks for your help in some personal matters, would you do it?
  8. You have been accepted into all the colleges in the world on full scholarships. Which would you chose and why?
  9. Music. Earphones or sound system?
  10. A teacher favors you over all the other students, and the students don’t like it. Would you ask the teacher to give equal time to everyone or would you bathe in the the attention?
  11. Do you like reading other blogs or are you focused only on writing?

So that’s all, folks! I spent a lot of time on this post, so I really really really hope Kass and Khadija decide to respond.

And once again, Atherz, high-five, back-slap, bro-fist etc etc! 😀

 

First Ever Guest Blog: Fear Of Loss By Alienora

How wonderful I feel hosting Alienora the Great on my humble blog!

Although dear Ali sent me this post a week ago, I did not have the time and energy to post it up till now.

So, without further ado, here is Alienora’s, who is my mentor in many ways, guest blog in the form of a very relatable, very heart wrenching, post.

Fear of loss

Beneath the larger than life persona, I am incredibly insecure – always have been – and it revolves around a terrible fear of loss, of being rejected.

Every morning, I wake up with the bone-deep fear that those I love will have stopped wanting to be in my life: that something about me will have put them off.

When I meet friends, I look into their faces – and then quickly avert my eyes – to see if there is still warmth and friendship there.

This degree of terror is crippling and distressing, exhausting and saddening.

It means that I put a negative slant on many things which are either neutral or even positive.

But why am I like this? Why am I so certain, at a very deep level, that I am fundamentally unworthy, undeserving of love and attention?

It is very difficult to explain the sense of having no fixed emotional security, of being so lost in this huge universe – of feeling, most of the time, completely insignificant.

It is very difficult for others too, because I am almost impossible to reassure and soothe, my whole unspoken stance, and plea, being, ‘Do you still love me?’

Why shouldn’t people want to be my friend?

Because, underneath the good bits, there is a subterranean world of seething nastiness, jealousy, resentment, clinging possessiveness and complete absence of charm. I fear that, at my core, I am a cold fish, a manipulative cow and eminently forgettable.

Whenever I have, in the past, fallen in love with a man, I have become convinced, almost immediately, that every other woman in the known universe is superior to me – and have actually felt myself begin to disappear, as if I were composed of the thinnest and most insubstantial mist.

I think I know the answer to the ‘Why?’ above – and it is something which, even now, makes me want to weep, and also fills me with self-hatred and shame.

I am the oldest of five children, four of us girls. One of the girls, subsequently given a name rather like my father’s, was born when the marriage was in severe difficulties – and this child became my dad’s absolute and clear favourite. Hurtfully so – for her as well.

The thing he used to do that was SO destructive – and so damaging to our growing sense of ourselves as female – was to plan day trips, just for this sister. At that point, there were only three of us – and it still makes me want to cry when I think of the two of us watching, from an upstairs window, as the favoured one was tucked into the car and driven off by Dad.

I can feel that terrible pain as I write, that dreadful sense that I was, in some way I could not quite put my finger upon, damaged goods, inferior, not good enough to deserve a treat. And it widened into a sense that, whatever I did, I would never be as pretty, as sexy, as talented as attractive to men as my sister.